Tuesday, February 9, 2010

How To: Get a Ride Home

1. Wear minimal clothing*, who cares if it's winter.
2. DO NOT stick out your thumb as many noobs do. Drivers will think you're a road side critic trying to give them a thumbs up on their flawless driving.**
3. Commence dancing, and sing about your desire to get a ride home.
4. Prepare a sign that you can use when you get tired of singing and dancing.***
5. Don't be easy. If a car slows down don't get in right away. If the driver is old or has a mustache, they will most likely be a perfect canidate for a ride home. If you are unsure conduct a simple drivers quiz.****
6. If the driver passes inspection, go home!

*This will attract alot of attention. In a good way.
**Hence, how to get a ride home, NOT, how to look lame.
***Your sign should be very large, and bright and should say something such as, "i want you.......... to give me a ride home" or, "imma betch slap ya shatbag if you don't give me a ride home"
**** 1. Have you ever gone to jail? (if they say yes, this means they're super bad ass and worthy of driving you home, AND being your friend)
2. Did you complete high school?
3. Did you enjoy the movie dear john? (if they say yes, RUN AWAY FAST.)


.... any kidnappings are not responsible of howtodostuffff.blogspot.com

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