1) Before you begin, you must know what the Academy Awards are*: They are little, painted gold men, who are all coincidentially named Oscar, atop a short black pedestal, which all famous people strive to hold/caress in their hands one day.
2)Trick your friends into believing that the Academy Awards are not on sunday**, but on monday.
3) Remember everyone who wins an Oscar, and record the show***.
4) When at your friends house for the Oscar Pool Party, create a distraction****, and slip the recording into their television.
5) Trick everyone into thinking that you are just picking randomly.
6) Make sure no one picks the same nominees as you*****.
7) Run around the room cheering because you are awesome at Oscar Pool Parties.
8) Collect money and leave residence.
*Knowing what they are is not a necessity. It just helps you appear intelligent and "in the loop" when you win the pool.
**The actual date of the Academy Awards
***You may run out of time on your PVR or tape recorder, because the show is so goddamn long.
****"WTF is your mom doing out there in the bushes? Wait a second... OMG your mom is a cougar!" or "it's good luck in an Oscar Pool Party for everyone to leave the room for fifteen minutes." or, begin singing Tik Tok by Ke$ha.
*****They're all going to pick AVATAR anyway.
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