Saturday, April 3, 2010

How To: Catch the Easter Bunny

1) Bait the bunny. Easter Bunnies are not the same as normal bunnies*, so you have to bait them accordingly. Use such things as "the promise of a better life" or "dental insurance" or "a donation to the dog pound" or "HUGE EASTER PARTY TONIIIIITTEEEE" to lure the bunny on to your property or in to your house.
2) Before the ED** arrives, booby trap key hiding places where the ED might attempt to hide your eggs.
3) Laugh manaically*** at your brilliant setup.
4) Once the ED arrives, hide yourself high in a treetop or crane****, and watch silently as the ED gets caught in your booby traps.
5) Let the ED struggle for a bit before you retrieve the bunny.
6) Keep ED as a pet*****, and allow adults to hide their own eggs for the kids. This way, kids will know whether their parents really love them.

*As we know from the Cadbury Egg commercials- these bunnies are white, plain looking rabbits who can fly planes and make noises like a chicken.
**ED= Easter DUMMY (aka the Easter BUNNY)
***Yet quietly
****Cranes can be rented from any local heavy duty machinery store.
*****FREE CHOCOLATE EGGS FOR LIFE (on account of the Easter Bunny being immortal)

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