How To: Use the Shake Weight

1) You must be over 18* in order to use the Shake Weight.
2) After firmly grasping** your handy Shake Weight, and putting on your brightest sports bra/speedo-thong, position yourself according to your personal preference***
3) Now, you may shake the weight.
4) After shaking for a while, do not be afraid to change up the rhythm occasionally! The intoxicating sound of the Shake Weight will probably stir up some primal rhythm instincts, so endulge them!!****
5) Sing along!*****
6) If you are in on the joke****** of the Shake Weight (like the girl in the bright pink bra), just go with it... you'll have many more boyfriends/girlfriends******* if you continue (which makes using the product worth every cent, since that's most likely what you got it for anyways).

*Viewer enjoyability goes way down if you are underage. However, being overweight raises the enjoyability factor.
**In one, or two hands! The Shake Weight is thick/long enough to accomadate both!
***Whichever position will make you less fat.
****Examples of songs which will endulge this primal rhythm instinct: Baby Got Back- Sir Mixalot, Candy Shop- Fiddy "50" Cent, or anything performed by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.
*****Your family/everyone watching you through the window (or, if you are not a Shake Weight virgin, your multiple stalkers), will find this the cherry on top of your entrancing show.
****** Just watch the vid, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXHUdvvHTkw&feature=channel - trust us, you'll get it too.
*******http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbsSeVr5NSI - NOW MANLIER