Monday, November 8, 2010

How To: Walk

1) From the standing position*, lift one foot** to around the mid-shin range of your other leg.
2) At this position, carefully propell your lifted foot in a forward motion, allowing gravity pull it down toward the ground as you force it forward.
3) Carefully***, allow your foot to hit the ground in a rolling motion- heel through to toe.
4) Using the momentum of the rolling motion of your foot, proceed to repeat the past steps with your other foot.
5) Always stay on the right side**** of the street when you walk. If someone has the indecency and nerve to walk toward you on their left, do not hesitate to walk directly in to them, as they are asking for it (the colloquial term for this is "Walking Chicken").
6) Once you've mastered those steps, you may add other things to your style of walking*****... everybody has their own unique jaunt!

*The ability to stand is a prerequisite.
**If you're right footed lift your right, or if your left footed lift your left. Or, if this is just a refresher and you've been walking for a while, try switching it up! It's up to you!
***Emphasis on being careful. Walking gets us where we need to go when you don't have a drivers license or bike or speedboat or golf cart or longboard or scooter or horse and carriage.
**** This rule is reversed once you enter the UK
***** Examples of walking styles: the "Skip step step skip" or the "Bouncing on each foot" or the "Wizard of Oz" or the "Drunken wobble" or the "Really abnormally long strides" or the "Cutting people off every second step" etc.

No comments:

Post a Comment