How To: Write a Research Paper

1) Find yourself a quiet space*
2) Open your laptop**, and find the research you have already completed.

3) Plug in your ipod and play some tunes, such as glitch mob or JB or Drake
4) Open Facebook
5) Open Twitter
6) Open Reddit
7) Open Myspace
8) Open Pinterest
9) Open BBC News Online
10) Open Tumblr
11) Open Youtube
12) Open nexopia
13) Open Stumbleupon
14) Open TSN online
15) With your now open tabs***, move to a crowded place****

16) Enjoy the atmosphere*****
17) Wait until the night before the paper is due and spend the entire night completing 20 pages of b******t

*i.e. a library, or graveyard
**if you do not have a laptop, ignore all future rules and go write your friggin paper by hand you hipster
**** Remember to check your tabs as often as possible- there's a whole world out there for you to discover!
**** Preferably somewhere with many attractive people and ALL of your friends
*****Writing a paper is hard!
******ullshi

How To: Make it Through the Last Week of School

1. Determine which classes are most important and go to those.*

2. Reward yourself each day** - you're a champ you totally deserve it!
3. As for homework, complete it in the fastest way possible with minimal effort. Although, I'm sure you've already mastered that by now anyways if you've made it this far into the semester.
4. ZZZZZZZZZZ.***

5. Have a brew****.... before and after class!

6. Week going by too slow? Have another beer.

7. Who cares if April fools day is over? You can still engage in springtime trickery***** for the sake of your own amusement.

8. When you finally make it through your last class of the school year do not forget to seize the moment with the classic high school musical jump of joy.
9. We are all aware of the dark cloud that looms overhead (aka finals) - but do not fret and enjoy your freedom once classes are over and get rowdy. Studying can wait!

*I mean what's the point in going to classes that you'll sleep through anyways, right? And plus, YOLO, since that justifies everything nowadays.
**Rewards include but not limited to: a pat on the back, a latte from Starbucks, etc.
***Nap. Because that shit is awesome.
****Why? Mmmmm beer. That's why.
*****Examples of awesome pranks: buying crickets and hide them in classrooms/dorms, show up to class dressed as a Jedi, etc.